And time just keeps on moving

Its been a year now that I've come home - and just a little longer since I've taken the time to even think about writing anything here. Weird. Might just have to try this one out again.

Its about freakin time

It has taken about 3 and a half years BUT it looks like I am finally coming home. Miracle beyond miracle. Only half of the curse many of you tried to lay on me has really come true = I am coming back with a country bumpkin but I am NOT bringing the bible with me. It was difficult at first but as soon as these people learned more about my true evil soul they left me alone. I am hoping the "y'all" will go with the crap we are getting rid of this weekend at the garage sale.

So if you happen to be in the Ventura area sometime after September the 4th - come by and see me and G - and we just might introduce you to the boy and the new girl T.

13 days and counting. I cant believe I have to do this drive again...

See you all soon - LITERALLY!
V

DMB Rockin Memphis

Wen took us to see DMB in concert last night. I believe the only truely unscripted thing Dave had to say was "HHHHAAAAUUUUTTTT" like ten times. It was freakin miserable out there. The concert was held in the Redbird's baseball statium so we were all outside and basiscally melting - if Im not mistaken the heat index yesterday was 111. All that said - Dave Matthews rocked -- his band rocked -- the covers he did rocked (Burning Down the House!). I almost forgot where I was until the moment he mentioned that he was just attacked by a huge bug. God love Memphis and the brave brave souls that dare come here to play a concert, crazy mo-fo's.

hellllllllooooooooooo

Good god. No one is writting anymore. Have we all finally found something better to do? I think not.

I need you people to post crap so I know your alive! I need to know how big your kids are and what color your hair is these days. How will I ever figure out if your dogs are still alive or the cat is now a town whore! What if you have done something to your house that I want to steal and use as my own?? What if you are going to be featured on the next episode of "Secret Lives of Women" = do I really need to learn about this stuff with the rest of America? I need stories damn it - I have even started reading more strangers crap and its just not the same.

So now that Ive said all that - yes, I do know that I suck too. I feel like the universe is trying to send me a message lately and I am getting a static-y line. Things have been good and even progressing in a positive forward motion. I would give more details but I fear that it would only curse things. More to come - hopefully something worth posting.

I miss you my internet friends.

PS - Our house is actually being visited daily by a handyman - for improvements - not leaks. All 3 humans and 3 dogs are still alive. No one is unemployed. I am still amazingly in school. No one I am related to or sleeping with has been to jail lately. My iphone arrives in 2 days. And all this can only lead to world disaster within the next few weeks.

Visiting Y'all

Sup peps! Its that time again - time to come and get a dose of reality from the west coast. Its been much to long and this thing they refer to as "summer" here has arrived . I like to think of it as a preview of what hell will be like in the future.

Anyway, me and my bumpkin will be arriving July 1 and heading back to our misery on the 8th. We are going to spend the first 3 days in Solvang drowning in wine and the rest in Ventura. Will ANYONE be home during this time? I know the Mansfield clan is offering a wicked bounce house and street band on the 4th. What about the rest of y'all?

15 days and counting...

FanTESTICAL

So its a Thursday evening and Im sitting on the sun porch, the sun is about an hour from setting, its a perfect 70 degrees with a slight breeze - could it get much better than this? Well sure - but not anytime soon and for now Im pretty freakin content.

I cant believe the last time I wrote anything here it was Halloween. I never believed people when they told me the years would go by faster as I got older but its not joke. How did I miss Chritsmas and New Years? So many things have happened since the last I wrote out to the web of endlessness... where do you start?

Yesterday I saved a baby squirrel from doggy demise. It was a rather strange event - something I've personally never done before (have you?). Did you know there are squirrel rescues out there? For-reals! I mocked Wendy when she told me to look it up --- but they are really there! Did you know its illeagal to keep a squirrel for more than 48 hours unless you are licenced by the wildlife police??? I swear, I didnt make this stuff up. - So back to Gary Jr (that what we call him) - I happened to be walking by the back window when I saw Jack doing some crazy dog dance around something in the middle of the yard - this is no everyday dance - its reserve for true diabolical plans I tell you... he's evil at heart (Wendy knows it even if she will never admit it) - anyway = so I run out back and see what I think is another baby bird (those are his very favorite to mudilate). As I get closer I see its little limps trying to cover its face - ACK! - its a baby squirrel!!! So I start yelling and Jack keeps dancing his happy little death dance and Spencer comes to scoop him up. SAVED! Now what do we do -= freak out! We took him out front to see if he would try and move - nope he just sat there looking pitiful with Jack slobber still on him. It was so helpless looking sitting in Spencers hand all lovey hugging his fingers (see photo). In comes the fanTESTICAL internet ... oh how I love the internet... We found a lady that is the wildlife commish-something and she called someone else - and in a matter of a couple hours someone was ready to pick lil'Gary up and take care of him until he is ready to go back into the wild once more. Hooray = one less carcass in our yard this month.

So on that happy little note - I just wanted to post a story for those of you that are still looking for something to read while your avoiding doing something important. Miss you all! V

Halloween is DeLISH!

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Our little vampire bat Tallulah thinks green pumpkins are especially tastey.