Starting from the beginning... not sure where its ending

So I suppose I should begin with the stupid title. It came up in a conversation I was having with my roommate - explaining how "this one time" when I was like in 2nd grade I was almost suspended for beating up these two boys on the playground (they were bleeding all over the place - I refused to admit to having anything to do with it - ps - I was the only one there and pretty sure I had blood on my shirt!) ... and how I think it was that same year I remember threatening a kid on the bus that if he didn't bring me ice cream the next day he would be next. And Im pretty sure that was the same year someone shot up are apartment complex (which was just bad neighbors and nothing to do with me - I swear!) ... Did I mention I was Maypole queen that year???

Anyhow, my roomie W loves these stories. You just never know when your gonna get a good one. I think mostly because most people who have known me would NEVER think any of these things could have really happened in my life, and the truth is sometimes I wonder too. I will be having a conversation or watching movie and suddenly realize - hey that happened to me once... and suddenly Im remembering some crazyass part of my life that was so long ago it seemed like something I watched - not lived. But oh yeah - that was me, and damn I was/am a mess! But amusing none the less.

So Ponytail Pressure. This is what I came up with as my excuse.

Sure, sure you have your own twisted image but anyone who had a mom that believed it should be illegal to have a kid with messy hair will understand. It all started with her - it will probably all lead back to her... and for that Im more grateful than I could even start to explain.

To this day I still look at little girls with ponytails hanging off each side of there head and can instantly feel the pressure on my scalp. Those damn little rubber bands with the giant marble things on the end... the ones that if they came loose when your mom was trying to put them in would take out an eye - god I hated those things. BUT, when you took them out at the end of the day and the relief that came with the hair going back into a natural place on your head, AND the blinking... the normal blinking that you could finally do now that you are no longer looking through slanted eyes - that was good stuff. Moms beware - its this kinda tension on a kids head can drive a kid mad (have I mentioned Im a blamer?).

My mom (ps - the bestest mom ever - she could TOTALLY kick your moms ass) was obsessed with tidy hair. Mine in particular. I had those damn ponytails everyday.